It Only Takes One

Every day, I dislike people more and more mainly based on overall behavior of humanity. Then, every once in a while, some woman or man comes along and does or says something so spectacular, that it restores my faith in the human race. Today was one of those days.

One of my big pet peeves (yes I’m aware I have a lot) are men that talk trash to women or insult women just because they are mad or it makes them look tough. I have to fight the urge not to bitch slap one whenever I hear it. If you’re not sure what a bitch slap is, check the video of Will Smith slapping Chris Rock last week. No man punches there, just a bitch slap. But I digress. This morning I witnessed an encounter that was simply spectacular.

I watched one of the giant truck (meaning small dick) men pass a car very aggressively for no reason. The other driver was moving with traffic, etc. In fact the truck ended up behind a dump truck that saw him and slowed down another 10 miles per hour. We all ended up at the same gas station and, as I got out of my car, I heard the man yell “stupid dyke bitch” at the other driver (yes it was a woman). I stopped, wondering if I’d need to get involved. As I mentioned I dislike men talking like this to women. This woman’s response restored by faith in human beings. She didn’t bat an eye but looked dead at him and responded “dyke, I like dick as much as you I just don’t take it up the ass like you”. I could not have ever thought of such a brilliant response.

Of course the guy, being the macho jerk he is, didn’t expect a woman to talk back, was furious and sputtered what the hell did you say? This amazing specimen of a woman tops herself and she sweetly says, “I’m not a dyke, I suck dick just like you”. His mouth was still hanging open as she drove away. Here I was, I hesitated as she might have needed defending yet with 2 simple sentences, she left that jackass speechless. I might be in love.

If you’re reading this just remember, you don’t need to let people treat you badly or talk to you like shit. If someone wants to act an ass, take that opportunity to speak up and tell them they’re an ass. It makes them think twice next time. This could have only been better if he had friends with him that overheard.

Peace out fellow fed up Americans. Signed Slightly (signedslightly@gmail.com)

You Have To Be Kidding

I am trying so hard to go back to funny blog writing, but with the idiots in this country dumb enough to stand up and talk on a daily basis, I can’t help writing about it.

Last week I talked about Florida’s parental rights law. Damn I still think we all need to move to Florida. This law says you can not talk to children under 3rd grade about sexual preference, gender, etc. Ok first, it’s a crying shame we need that law. Don’t talk to my 8th or 9th grader about it either. I will decide when my kids need to learn this stuff. We don’t teach non-binary or gender fluid in my house. But I digress, I already wrote about that.

As I’m sure you’ve heard, people are leaving NY in droves because of all the covid restrictions, crime, etc. But have you seen the new campaign from the NY mayor to get people to come back? NY mayor Eric Adams wants his taxpayers back. He is actually advertising in Florida to come back and we’ll let you say gay. He’s using the propaganda the opponents to the bill were and calling it the don’t say gay bill, although it doesn’t mention that word anywhere in the bill.

So, to get you to move back you can say gay, but you’ll have to apologize for calling “birthing people” mothers, you’ll have a considerable higher chance of having your child assaulted by repeat offenders as that crime is on the rise. You’ll have human shit rubbed in your face on the subway or told get the vaccine or don’t work but at least you can say gay, oh and pay insane state income tax rates. Seems like a fair exchange if you’re New York’s mayor. But hey stay where you are. I might wanna move to Florida and there is only so much room.

Pease out fellow readers. Signed Slightly (signedslightly@gmail.com)

Let’s Talk About Florida

Let’s talk about Florida for a minute. They claim 1000 people a day are flocking there as new residents due to covid restrictions in their states. I think they got that wrong. The more I read about the governor there, the more I think he’s what’s drawing new residents.

From what I read, this DeSantis is giving a whole new meaning to the phrase “kick ass and take names”. He seems like he really cares about his state and that is likely what makes him a loved politician and there aren’t many of them. However, he’s like Trump, doesn’t need to kiss ass to get where he wants to be and doesn’t play ball with the liberals, so they’ll come after him like they did Trump. I have to love any governor that tells Washington to fuck off or says he’ll sic the National Guard on you.

When I first read the article where administrator Biden (Biden will never be referred to as president – see prior blogs) demanded DeSantis close Florida to travel, I laughed so hard I almost packed and moved to Florida. When Biden threatened to withhold vaccines unless he complied, this man called bullshit and told him he’d call out the national guard “to protect the movement of Floridians”. But let’s be honest, he had my vote for president when Biden told him you will address me as president Biden. You got big balls when you know you have enough clout to respond with “I will not and you can go fuck yourself”. Come on, who here doesn’t want the chance to utter those 9 words to the dipshit currently in the White House?

He seems to want what’s best for his residents and isn’t gonna play the bullshit Washington game. Hell even Johnny Van Zant wrote a song about him. If Lynyrd Skynyrd, one of the most bad ass bands in history, thinks you’re bad ass , then Brother you are. Check out the song by brothers Johnny and Donnie Van Zant. Sweet Florida. It says it all. Hell maybe we all need to pack and head to Florida or if nothing else, look for his name on the 2024 ballot.

Peace out fellow bad ass lovers. Signed Slightly (signedslightly@gmail.com)

I Am Sick Of The Word Racist

As someone sick and tired of the bullshit going on in this country, I have turned off the TV in my house and rarely listen to the news. I guess I need to go back to staying alert to the absolute dumb shit going on. Why did no one tell me Dr. Seuss was a racist?

Seriously though, I had no idea people had pissed and bitched so much that some of his books have been taken out of print. It came up in conversation today and someone told me about it and I was, that’s bullshit. So you know Slightly, I took to the internet to check this out because after all, Google is an authority on virtually everything. I say virtually everything cause Goggle isn’t God.

So back to Dr. Seuss. How the hell are fictional, made up animals racist? Dr. Seuss Entertainment company claims these 6 books portray people in hurtful, wrong ways. Are you really that stupid? They are made up people. So, let’s look at why.

Saw it on Mulberry street portrays a Chinese child carrying chopsticks, a bowl of rice and wearing Japanese style shoes. Seriously? In 1937 American kids likely had no concept of what asian people looked like so it gave the book some concept. Once they bombed pearl harbor and killed thousands of Americans in an unprovoked war, American kids got a better idea. At that point I think few cared how they were portrayed.

If I Ran the Zoo got the boot because the men from Africa were shirtless and shoeless. Ok have you ever seen National Geographic or even TV ads about aid for Africa? 90% of the people shown there are shirtless and shoeless. Can I assume that isn’t racist when you’re using those images to get money?

I’m not even going to delve into the other 4 books because this is straight up stupidity. This country has gone so far overboard that no one really even knows the definition of racism. I noticed I did not have to read very far to find that much of this started at a library in MA in 2017. The librarian there was offended because Mrs. Trump donated Dr. Seuss books calling them racist. Guess once again, sounds like a result of Trump haters.

Not shocked to see they added to the list Should We Burn Babar? The same idiots claim the books were celebrations of colonialism”. What moron thought up that phrase?

I may be overreacting a but but I think it’s time the Lord rethink that no more flood promise.

Peace out fellow fed up Americans. Signed Slightly

Service Pets Gone Wrong

I hope, as one of my readers, you are aware there is a difference between service animals and emotional support animals. Don’t take that wrong, I believe some people may benefit from emotional support animals but I also believe if you need a cat or rabbit, or whatever to leave your house, you need more therapy than a pet.

I love my pets, probably more than most. They provide me companionship, unconditional love and are just plain awesome. Would I love to take the with me everywhere, of course. Do they belong everywhere, hell no. I personally don’t want to use a grocery cart your dog drooled all over. I don’t want to sit next to your pony while I eat (yes this has happened).

Service animals serve an awesome purpose and are some of the most amazing animals. I can’t believe some provide sight or hearing assistance but some even detect seizures or glucose levels of diabetics. How freaking cool is that?

But people, please stop trying to pass off pets as service animals. Service dogs don’t ride in grocery carts or eat scraps from your table at Chili’s. One man in Ohio is fighting the local law banning farm animals as he has 100 pound pig he claims is his support animal. I had dinner last year at a restaurant and 2 tables away was a support pony. What the hell. I don’t wanna have dinner smelling a pony. The local news even did a story admiring the restaurant owner for being so accommodating. I hope he was happy because he lost my business.

I have seen or been told of some really bizarre “emotional” support animals including bearded dragons, monkeys or chimps (I want one of those), peacocks, ducks, squirrels, parrots, hedgehogs, turtles, etc. The list goes on and on. You have to start asking yourself how insane will this get? Do you really get a lot of emotional well being from being friends with a turkey, snake or even a sheep? Do they sit and listen to or help you thru problems.

Emotional support, according to the mental health field, is about support, acceptance, reassurance and encouragement in a relationship. Do you honestly believe that hamster or donkey is providing that or even has any idea of what a “relationship” is?

Please note there is no reason to send me hate emails. I agree some people need emotional support but they need to talk to a professional, not a guinea pig. I personally don’t want to encounter your pets while shopping, eating, etc.

Peace out fellow pet lovers. Signed Slightly (signedslightly@gmail.com)

Get Disney & Amazon Out Of Politics

A reader sent me a few articles about a new law that passed over the weekend in Florida. It’s called the Parental Rights Bill but already has more names that that. It begins . . . . . “a governmental/state institution may not infringe upon the fundamental rights of a parent to direct the upbringing, education, health care, and mental health of a minor child”.

In a nutshell it says a school or teacher can not discuss gender with a child between kindergarten and third grade. That means no one at your school can talk to your kids about their gender at ages 4 to 7 or 8. Do people really have an issue with this? I don’t want a school teaching my kid what gender they are or even discussing sexual orientation with my kids at that age. Bill Clinton already taught kids what a blow job was when he stated on national television it isn’t sex, it’s just oral.

I had to read up on this and understand why people were voting against this. Isn’t it our job as parents to decide what our kids learn about sexual issues, and when? Those against the bill are calling it the “don’t say gay” law. I’m ok with that except it assumes it only pertains to discussing homosexual orientation, which it does not. I can decide when I want this discussed with my child. Were it up to me, this would never be discussed in public schools period. I send my kids to get an education, not learn about sexual preference or 500 different genders.

The NY Times did an article about a young man in FL that said his teacher helped him thru his issues and had the law already passed, she would have put her job in jeopardy. That just shows how skewed things are. He was in high school when this occurred so even under the new bill, there was nothing the teacher did wrong but it makes for good press I guess. Last time I checked, short of Sheldon cooper, there are no 4-8 year olds in high school but hell write the article so it pisses people off. It’s not like most are going to actually go read it themselves. Also to call this the don’t say gay law aren’t you saying teachers can discuss sexual preference with children as long as it’s not something to do with being gay or transgender? Hmmm, I didn’t read that anywhere in the law. People act like, and some are claiming, it was designed to protect parents that are anti-gay.

The other half calls it the “non grooming law”. Grooming was a new term for me if it was unrelated to taking my dog in to be groomed. Apparently it’s defined as ” “manipulative behaviors that the abuser uses to gain access to a potential victim, coerce them to agree to the abuse, and reduce the risk of being caught”. Let’s be honest here, as it’s one of the reasons I don’t think sexual preference should be a school subject, I have no control over the content or how it is slanted in either direction. I have no idea if my child is being “groomed” to believe something I may be morally against.

I had to really read more once I kept hearing the name Disney. How does this concern Disney, a family orientated company? Well turns out not only is Disney okay with your kids learning about sexual preference between ages 4 and 8, but they stated themselves that they have been working behind the scenes to stop this bill passing. Then today, they announced they would stop all political donations to Florida politicians that voted for the bill. Well, piss off Disney. Made me so made I even cancelled my Disney channel subscription.

I personally don’t agree with a gay lifestyle and that, believe it or not, is my right. I am under no obligation, yes that’s right, to believe it is right or normal. But it’s your right to live how you want. Hash it out with God when you get there. It isn’t my place to judge you. You are under no obligation to agree with my heterosexual lifestyle. It’s your choice. Yes this is still the USA, no thanks to Biden, and we all have rights. Either way you lean, deciding when and what your child is taught about sexual preference is your decision as a parent and shouldn’t be decided for you by a school teacher.

People it’s time to stand up for what you believe. It’s time to stop being ok with everything. We aren’t sheep. Take a stand. When Amazon told the “my pillow” inventor he couldn’t sell on Amazon because he supported Trump or when they told a patriot website they were blocking their website access for supporting Trump, that was the day I cancelled my prime membership. Disney stepped in with money they make off families to try and stop a parental rights bill that should have nothing to do with Disney so guess what? Nothing Disney will ever get a penny of my money again. You have no right to tell people what they can believe is right and wrong or what their kids should learn or not learn and then use your money to force politicians to vote your way.

Peace out fellow force fed Americans. Signed Slightly. (signedslightly@gmail.com)

Buy From This Company

I am not a huge fan of wine but I will learn to love it just so I can buy from this company. A company that has the balls to stand up and say what we all think. This company puts their beliefs and values on display, and if people don’t like it, they don’t care.

This country used to be a super power until we got presidents that bowed to other world leaders. Presidents that told people they don’t need to respect police authority and the same one told people they deserve shit based on skin color. How many times did this same idiot, that somehow got elected, ignore the respect due Americans? He walks past marines in full salute and doesn’t even notice them much less return the salute which is protocol. He ignores federal court rulings and subpoenas. He holds a press conference and asks marines in full dress uniform to hold an umbrella in a bare sprinkle. Plenty of presidents withstood rain without help. Kennedy among others stood thru an entire ceremony at the tomb of the unknown soldier in the rain. Hell even the nut Putin stood in a downpour during the wreath laying in memory of the Nazi invasion. I still haven’t figured out how the idiot got elected, but he put our country is a virtual tailspin to what is fast becoming a society of pansies.

We tell kids you can’t hear bad stuff or be told you’re wrong or bad because it might hurt your feelings but you can bed hop and if you get pregnant it’s ok cause now you can kill babies right up to the time they are born. We offered counseling if they couldn’t deal with their candidate losing an election. Colleges across the country offered “safe places” to grieve the election. But I digress.

Check out We The People wines. Even if you don’t drink send them a donation if for no other reason than they have the balls to stand up and yell bullshit on the things happening in this country. Check out this commercial.

Peace out fellow fed up Americans. Signed Slightly (signedslightly@gmail.com)

WTH – Wake Up People

Ok who makes this shit up.

I saw a newer commercial with a woman claiming to be a doctor, and she’s talking about vaccinating her kids. She claims Covid affects more black children then white so hers will be vaccinated as soon as they are old enough. Now Covid is a racist.

Where exactly did that bullshit, false information come from? I have combed CDC and WHO sites and none state that. I finally emailed 2 doctors I am friends with and they not only have never heard that, but couldn’t find anything that claimed that either.

The government we elected has gone well above and beyond to scare people into getting a vaccine that even today, 2 years later, has new information no one ever thought to look into. You were told it prevented Covid but that didn’t work so you were told it prevented hospitalization if you got Covid. That didn’t work either so you were told it would prevent you getting sick. Hmm, did that work?. Now that half the world had agreed to or been forced into getting a vaccine that we really know nothing about, the CDC says well we really aren’t sure how long it lasts. so you better get a few more boosters, what the heck even yearly. Gotta have a way to keep the sheep in line.

When have we ever had a situation where the government offered to use your tax dollars and pay people to get a vaccine? When have they ever offered to use your tax dollars to pay companies or give them huge tax breaks to coerce or force employees to get a vaccine? Hell West Virginia will give you a free gun to get vaccinated. I almost fell for that one.

Why is not one single politician demanding accurate information, demanding some research, or better yet demanding some accountability like the one Florida governor who is demanding answers? You know why? I can’t answer that any more than you can. But there is a reason trust me. I can only share my opinion and this is one of them.

It’s about population control, about building a better strain of humanity. Hate to equate it this way but remember Hitler’s plan? He wanted to build a better race and his plan was to simply eradicate what he felt were lesser human beings. Starting to sound familiar? This “virus” weeds out the infirm, the weaker people, people with prior diseases or medical issues. The majority of the ones you hear dying are ones that have prior medical conditions or aren’t as strong or young as the newer generation.

Just to make sure you don’t feel it targets a certain type or people, they even came up with this newer Omnicron strain of Covid and claim it has milder symptoms like a headache, fatigue, etc. and it affects younger people most. Hell if that is a Covid symptom I have had Covid over 40 years.

Here is what I want figures on. Here is what I want our government to answer. How many people have gone into the hospital with Covid and were refused proven treatments? How many of those that died because they refused to even try the treatments many have proven work, were they mostly people that were ill or had a lot of pre-existing conditions? Prove to me you aren’t weeding out people that are what Hilter would have considered weaker. Prove you aren’t weeding out people that are using more medical resources than the average person. Bet you won’t read that research anywhere.

Did you know the military says there are more miscarriages in vaccinated women in the past 2 years than in the past 50? If they are right it’s up nearly 300%. Do you wonder if your teenager you vaccinated will find out at 25 or 30 years old he or she is sterile and can’t have kids? Will we find out later the vaccine shortened the life of people with certain genetic traits? No one mentions that this “medicine” attaches to your DNA and anything that attaches to DNA can change that DNA strand. But no one wants to talk about that do they?

Wake up, remind the worthless shit we call a president to give you some legitimate answers. Wake up and stop being lead by fear. STOP DRINKING THE KOOLAID WITHOUT ASKING WHO FUCKING MADE IT.

Peace out fellow Americans. Signed Slightly (signedslightly@gmail.com)

I’m Back

So, I’ve been absent for a while but I’m not gone. I have a few blog ideas running thru my head but foremost is a blog on idiot drivers.

They have classes to learn to drive. They have classes to improve your driving. They have classes for defensive driving, although I am a huge fan of offensive driving. They even have classes to teach you not to drive drunk. WTF – why are there no classes geared towards dealing with idiot drivers?

Since none exist, I Slightly, am forced to write a blog on dealing with idiot drivers so here goes.

DEALING WITH IDIOT DRIVERS. By Signed Slightly

  1. Cut them off when necessary.
  2. Don’t let people pull out in front of you, they will just drive slow and annoy you.
  3. Do not allow them to merge over at the last minute. Those rubber cones won’t hurt their car and it’s fun to watch them freak out.
  4. Flash your lights repeatedly if they are in the left lane under the posted speed.
  5. Number 5 and this is the most important. In the event you can get one to stop, pull over, etc. SLAP THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF THEM.

Enough said. Peace out fellow Americans.

Signed Slightly. (signedslightly@gmail.com)

A Backwards World

Someone asked me recently if I knew how different it was in a left-handed world and if I ever realized how many things were backwards or different for lefthanded people. I have to admit I never thought about. I mean all you’re doing is using the other hand. Did you know only abut 10% of the population is lefthanded? I even read that until the early 60’s, teachers tried to force kids to use their right hands. Now they have discovered this causes learning disabilities as lefthanders really do us a different area of their brain. After looking into this, I decided I’d try 3 days as a lefthander and see if it really affected daily life. You’d be surprised how many little things it changes or makes difficult. Below are some I encountered daily. I’m sure there area lot more I never thought of.

Spiral notebooks. I journal in them all the time and using my left hand was quite uncomfortable as it lays across the metal binding. Even writing left handed wasn’t just about your writing skills. I realized because we write left to right, my hand tended to smear the ink as I wrote across the page. However, now I understand why a co-workers check marks are always going the wrong way.

Can openers. Those things are a bitch to use if you are lefthanded as you’re forced to do it right handed. How about measuring cups and coffee pots. The markings are on the wrong side if you use left handed. And all those cute coffee mugs with cartoons on them. Lefthanded people can’t read them while drinking as they are on the back.

Then there were little things I wonder if even lefthanded people notice anymore. Swiping a credit card. It’s really off using your lefthanded. The zipper on my jeans was difficult because the flap of the pants is on the left side. Buttons on your phone and camera are designed for right handed people so are on the right hand side. Hell I never even noticed if your lefthanded the doorknobs are on the wrong side. Then there’s the number pad on a keyboard, the mouse buttons are wrong and buying a special (and I’m sure much more expensive) guitar if you’re lefthanded.

Sitting at the dinner table. I needed to decide where the “left handed seat” was so I wasn’t hitting someone else’s elbow. Using those attached pens at the bank this week. What the hell. That was nearly impossible because the chain was so short. I asked a friend that’s a golf pro about lefthanded people golfing. He said it’s all backwards to him and he can’t see the swing in his mind.

Crap I just stopped to measure something while writing this and realized my damn tape measure is upside down if you’re lefthanded. It really is a different world. Here is one little tidbit I ran across researching lefthanded people. Talk about insanity. “When Joan of Arc was burned at the stake, depictions showed her as being left-handed, in order to appear more evil. Left-handers were also harshly discriminated against during the 18th and 19th centuries, and it was often “beaten out” of them”.

And my favorite – guns. The ejection side of guns are on the left hand side. That’s a pain in the ass if your left hand is there. Many guns even today don’t have ambidextrous controls so the magazine and/or slide release can’t be used by lefties without changing the gun to the other hand.

So next time you run across a lefthanded friend buy them a drink and congratulate them on coping in your right handed world.

Peace out my lefty friends. Signed Slightly (signedslightly@gmail.com).

PS – A friend told me the hardest thing he’d encountered being lefthanded were those freaking chairs in school that had the desk attached. Try writhing on that lefthanded.