Shit Happens. Let’s Talk About It

Toilets and toilet paper use changes so much across the world and we rarely think about it. I recently read an article on bidets and it got me wondering, how many people have never tried using one? Are they better for us than wiping paper across our butts hoping it’s clean.

But let’s talk paper, lol. Prior to toilet paper being invented what you used was basically based on your wealth or income. If you had money you used wool, hemp or lace. Lace I’m not so sure was that great feeling but compared to people that couldn’t afford to use that, it was likely top of the line. If you had no money you used dry leaves, sticks and, yes you’re reading this right, corn cobs. It hurt my butt just to type that but it beats walking around with a dirty ass I guess. Romans used to have public toilets where you walked up, did your business then wiped yourself with a sponge shared by everyone. Afterwards it was placed in a jar of vinegar which they assumed killed germs. Heck if you had money they had people that would wipe your butt for you. I’m thinking by the second person dipping that sponge, it was simply a jar of feces that had a splash of vinegar in it. As times progressed, people used the famous almanac and Sears catalog. Interesting tidbit, the almanac actually began adding a punched hole in their books which allowed people to hang them so they could read, wipe and toss each sheet.

Do you know that 70% of the world population doesn’t use toilet paper. I’ll skip past the ones that use their hands as it’s too gross to discuss, but the others use bidets. They are common in Italy, France and almost in every toilet in Asia. In the Philippines you don’t even get a toilet. They have steps over a removal system and you have to squat to use the bidet. They claim science shows it’s healthier to squat than sit and cleaner. unless you have bad knees and fall in of course.

So why do the English and Americans shy away from bidets? Well I asked myself the same question. From what I read, apparently the English custom of toilet paper simply passed along to Americans as they set up colonies here. In colonial times, bidets were mostly used in French whorehouses for the women to clean themselves between customers and the average person didn’t want anything in their home that was something you’d find in a brothel.

They claim that toilet paper is actually decimating the forests in Canada at an alarming rate. The average house uses 3-4 rolls of toilet paper per week. So brothels aside, I think I might install a bidet. I feel cleaner just thinking about it.

Peace out fellow poopers.

Signed Slightly.