Well my email flashed yesterday and I had a question from someone that apparently reads my blog. Glad to know it’s not just me. Again I’m not sure it’s a question that will be answered the way they expect, but you read the name of my blog and still asked. So there you have it.
A reader wrote in asking an opinion on her home situation. Her 22 year old niece recently left an abusive living situation and she had her move in with her and her husband who is 34. Now she is wondering if she needs to worry about leaving them home together? Here are my thoughts on that.
That you feel the need to ask that is sad, tragic and messed up in so many ways. I’d ask who are you worried about, your niece or your husband but the answer is obviously both. If your niece made a play for him, he can and should, say you’re out of line and we’ll talk to your aunt if the subject comes up again. If he’s making suggestions or moves on her she has that same option so it sounds like your concern is with both of them. One will suggest it and the other will agree to it. Sound about right? If so, you have little faith in your family and spouse.
Well here is a reality check. If your husband would cheat with a 22 year old family member, he will cheat with anyone else if the opportunity arises. Cheaters are cheaters. I know people, especially women, get mad at the other party but the one you need to have an issue with is the one married to you. While that other woman or other man is obviously a worthless shit, they aren’t married to you. They made no commitment of fidelity to you. Your spouse made that commitment and short of being forced into a sexual situation, had the opportunity to simply say no and walk away.
The part you won’t like in my answer is about you. If you are that insecure in your relationship that you are picturing your husband bumping uglies with your niece every time you leave the house, I have 2 suggestions. Counseling or divorce. Find out why that is a concern for you. If nothing else discuss it with your spouse but be prepared to get a backlash that he feels you think so little of him and your niece.
Peace out concerned wife. Signed Slightly.