Sex as we know it might be slowly becoming a thing of the past with our current world situation. Remember the good old days of wandering into a bar, downing a few shots, ok maybe more than a few, and waking up next to someone trying to remember their name? Mary, Michelle, Michael, hell it started with an M, or at least you think so. That feeling of crap, not this shit again. If you’re thinking no, then bullshit. I am not the only one that has those days.
Doesn’t the new social distancing thing put a whole new spin on sex? How many people that have always wanted to try the S&M thing, but were too embarrassed to say so, can now jump on the band wagon. Can you get a hook up faster if you actually show up prepared?
Dress yourself in those leather pants, leather shirt and leather mask you’ve been hiding in the bottom of the closet. Hell who’s gonna say no to that offer. Tie up your partner and claim it’s just to prevent her from touching you. Grab that whip and claim it’s because you can’t be close enough to touch him. Cover yourself in chocolate, baby oil, hell try chicken feathers if that gets you going. It can now all be explained by social distancing. Hell maybe bondage will become the new norm.
If fact, skip the bar and call your ex or a friend for a late night booty call. Explain you’re not being rude, just keeping in line with the government order on take out and delivery only.
So in closing, get your freak on. Pull out all the stops, or butt plugs, and go for it. Get funky, explore and remember those leather face masks and lysol wipes cause after all, you need to be safe.
Writing for a follower. Thanks J. Hot for an awesome idea of social distancing.
Disclaimer – people and events in this blog are purely fictional. Signed Slightly has never engaged in any of the above activities.
Peace out fellow freaks. Signed Slightly.