Ok I have heard it all. As you know I scour the news looking for new and exciting things to chat with you about. I love you all and want to keep you informed. Well after today, you might be too informed.
So, I ran across an article about a 32 year old mother, I can’t believe she didn’t swallow them, who claims to have a new way to prevent contracting Covid 19. She adds sperm to her daily smoothies. I know half of you just said WTF, but seriously, I don’t make this shit up.
She claims it an easy, vegan way to add something healthy to her daily drinks. I’m not up on the newest nutritional things, but does her boyfriend have to be a vegetarian to get vegan sperm? What if he eats steak for dinner? Is there a waiting period like going in the water after swimming?
My favorite part is she says while she believes it’s best used fresh, they have a long distance relationship so she freezes it in ice cube trays. Wait, if she has a party does she have to mark the cubes plain ice and sperm ice? I sure as hell wouldn’t drink anything from her house, vegan or not.
For those of you not in a committed relationship or don’t have a man as understanding as hers, not to worry, she recommends asking a healthy friend to donate. This prompts me to ask, are there blood test involved? Are there certain food items they should skip if you’re asking for donations? These are all questions I can’t answer but here’s one I can. Don’t call me. Slightly doesn’t make sperm donations strangers, well outside of a drunken party that is, and in those instances, please read my blog on hand sanitizer.
Peace out fellow smoothie drinkers. Signed Slightly.
Thanks to our reader, CPA Dude for the title reference.