Because of some undue stress, I had cause to visit my therapist last week. Yes Slightly has a therapist, have you not read the name of my blog? That together with the need to refer to myself in the third person is reason enough, but from time to time another issue will crop up. While I’m sure she has excellent advice, Slightly cannot be put in a box regarding behavior.
Before leaving we talked a bit about the weird, sometimes alarming thoughts that wander around in my brain. Trust me if you knew them all, you’d avoid my blog, lol.
She assures me this is normal. In fact this was her exact response,
“Intrusive thoughts are thoughts that enter your consciousness, often without warning or prompting, with content that is alarming, disturbing, or just flat-out weird and are not abnormal”.
However, I often wonder am I the only one that has this happen?
Ever been showering and have the sudden thought you’ll open the curtain and be stabbed to death – and the only person in the house is your spouse?
Ever drive behind a truck carrying logs and picture the logs hitting your car and removing your head only to wonder if your car would hit someone or just coast off the road?
Ever been talking to someone while they are driving and they say let me go, going to get some gas and thinking wow, if they disappear I’ll have to tell police last thing they did was get gas.
Ever walk down stairs or stand at a train station with complete strangers and thought if I pushed them at the last minute, would they know it was me before they died?
Ever walked with someone and wondered, if I kill them out here and keep walking would I get away with it?
Ever had someone say let’s do this or that and thought they want me to go so they can kill me there?
Ever actually picture yourself holding a pillow over someone’s face while you calculated how long you’d have to hold it there?
I must say I asked her these and a few other questions. I will admit she seemed a bit . . . . . not sure if it was concerned or alarmed. But I wrote down her response so I could remember it for later and share it here. That itself might be a bit alarming. Her response –
if you find yourself dealing with unwanted, violent, disturbing, or bizarre thoughts on a regular basis, you may be dealing with a serious mental health issue.
I am not convinced I’m dealing with a serious mental illness but the pillow over the face thought came while she was telling me this if that matters.
Peace out fellow questioners. Signed Slightly
signedslightly@gmail.com
I
Inner Thoughts of a Self Diagnosed Slightly Sociopathic Mind 
Oh Slightly,..that ended on a great laugh!!!!
Questions though : Were u sitting in a chair or couch that had a pillow when you were thinking about smothering someone in the office ?
Does this person know u wrote this blog? Is this blog traceable to you?
And this one boggles my mind… (Also knowing I use to be nurse so I do know some things)…When the Doctor / Shrink/ Therapist asks someone, if they are seeing things that aren’t real , or in your case, “if you have any unwanted, violent, disturbing, or bizarre thoughts” on a “regular” basis,??…. How would that person know if they werent real because to them they think they are. If you have “unwanted/violent/bizarre/or disturbing” thoughts …well maybe the thoughts arent UNwanted. Maybe just the mental exercise feels like an appropriate outlet. Violent bizarre and disturbing are all relative. What seems disturbing to her may seem perfectly normal to me. What’s regular anyway? What if I only feel that way in certain situations? That’s not frequent. I think it’s like other stuff, normal doesn’t exist. Adequate coping mechanism are key to a good foundation as are good morals. Mental health is the backbone of all health. It’s still far too often overlooked. I gladly see a therapist to keep myself ok but to also keep working on rebuilding myself .
Good for you Slightly . My guess is , there will be NO pillows at your next session. Just a guess.
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