I had an incident recently that prompted me to ask fellow readers about dumb things they’ve said to police or in court, and even dumb things police have asked them. The story I got from one reader was interesting enough that I have to share, but first mine. And I preface this with I have the upmost respect for our law enforcement officers and the job they do daily. They are certainly under paid and highly under appreciated.
Driving home yesterday I suddenly see those all to familiar blue flashing lights in my rear view mirror. I will say Slightly is not a passive driver so I am somewhat used to those lights showing up. By the way, is it just me or for just a split second, does your brain say, run, don’t stop?
I pulled over and the officer approached my window. Being in this situation in the past, I already have my drivers license, registration and gun permit in my hand ready for that age old question, can I see your . . . . However, before he asked for my license, he asked the question almost every officer will ask and I find insanely funny – do you know how fast you were going? How exactly do they expect you to answer this? In the past my answer has always been “if you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you” but I opened my mouth, not really intending to be funny and said “is this where I’m supposed to say no, not really”? I figured he’s heard it all and will just write my ticket but to my surprise, he actually laughed. So I followed it up with – “well I’m pretty sure I was doing the speed limit”. I expected that usual glaring look but again he laughed and came back even better with, “well you might have been doing the speed limit, but it wasn’t the speed limit on this road”.
I have to say I was so impressed with his sense of humor that at this point I didn’t even mind getting a ticket so was really relieved when he said how about you use the limit on this road and slow down, checked my license and drove away. I sat there a minute or two still laughing. By the way, in the future if you’re asked do you know why I pulled you over they don’t appreciate the response “not really, too much free time?” I have used that in the past and it doesn’t usually get a positive response.
One blog follower responded to me about a court hearing that went completely wrong because it seems like Slightly, they have a hard time not making some smart ass comment. They wrote in saying they were cited for “racing a train” and because I’ve never heard of this I had to get the details. Turns out they raced to cross the tracks but the crossing bar came down before they got thru the intersection and hit their car. A passing officer cited them for racing a train and they decided to take the case to court as they felt it was an unfair citation. The details of the conversation with the judge almost made me pee my pants. At some point the judge asked “do you realize freight trains have emergency brakes, that when the bar hits an object it could have set off those brakes, derailed the train and killed hundreds of people”. Without a single forethought they responded, “really, freight trains have hundreds of people cause I seriously think it’s more like 2 or 3”. I laughed so hard I spit out my drink but felt bad when I read it cost them $500 in contempt of court fines. The moral of that story is, if you suggest a judge is dumb, he’ll make you pay for that thought.
Peace out fellow drivers and watch for those flashing lights. Feel free to email if you have any funny stories or need Slighty’s input on solving a problem.
Signed Slightly. firstname.lastname@example.org