Telemarketers – Uggg

Ok I know everyone needs a job and they are just doing theirs but really, have you ever bought something from people over the phone? Has anyone ever answered and said thank God you called, I have been meaning to get an extended warranty? Slightly isn’t what you’d call young and in all my years, I have never even thought of buying something because someone called me.

I think the biggest one recently is an extended warranty for your car. I’ve had 4 just this week. What I really want to know and have held and asked is, how do know when my warranty ran out? Have you using my personal info or rummaging thru my trash? They have no clue and just say you were on the list. After so many in one week, I started researching how many dumb or crazy ways I can answer the phone. I thought I’d share some so you can have a little fun also. Heck twice now I’ve even held on a robo call so I could use one on a person. So here goes some fun ones cause you know. telemarketers need a laugh also.

Sperm bank, you slap it and we’ll pack it.

Joe’s Bar – how many in your party

County hospital – you kill we, we chill it. You stab it we slab it.

Wait for the person to come on then just say hi, is Dave there?

Wait for a person then say hi, I’d like 2 large pizza extra cheese, sausage, etc.

Seminole County Sheriff, fraud department may I help you?

WRBK radio, you’re live on the air

I did get a call selling car insurance and had a hoot. Told them my name was John Alexander (it’s not) and gave them some false car info. When they transferred me to the other department to get a quote, I hung up. Next day they called asking for John Alexander and I quietly said with a sniffle sorry he died suddenly yesterday.

These are 2 I made up myself and have been using all week. You just have to wait for a live caller.

Natalie’s Escort Service – if you lick it we let you stick it

My all time favorite, answer the phone and scream really loud. Be very quiet for about 20 seconds then whisper quietly please help me, he’s coming back. Or if people are near by skip the scream and once you have a person just say it.

Peace out fellow frustrated phone owners and have some fun with those spam calls. Signed Slightly

Send me your questions or ideas at signedslightly@gmail.com