Did you know, bidets are common place in almost every country except the US? They seem to be standard in nearly every house and even public bathrooms around the world. In fact, in many countries like the Philippines, you won’t find toilets, just bidets you squat over. Nice huh? Hope you got good knees.
If you follow my blog, you know Slightly added a bidet long before Covid and the great toilet paper shortage of 2020 and I love it. And honestly I really do love it. You’ve heard of people that are bladder shy and can’t pee if someone is nearby or could hear them. Well, Slightly has become butt shy. The thought of dropping a swamp pie anywhere but home, where my bidet keeps my ass squeaky clean, almost horrifies me. But alas, sometimes it can’t be helped, which brings me to the point of my blog.
With everyone Covid crazy, you need to double check what people keep in their bathrooms. Yesterday I was forced to squeeze a chocolate dwarf away from home and didn’t pay as much attention as I should have. While they didn’t have a bidet, at least they provided those cushy, slightly scented flushables we all know and love. Or at least I thought so. I wiped, cleaned, washed my hands and bid goodbye to head home. As I was driving I noticed the beginnings of a slight burning from my arse and wondered WTH.
By the time I arrived home, I was in serious danger of scratching a second hole in my butt from the burning and itching. In and effort to figure out what happened without adding in a trip to the ER, I called the friend. Damned if I didn’t wipe myself with a colorox bleach wipe. WTF people? Make sure to leave the label pointing out on things. I may need emergency ass surgery all because of no bidet. You can’t even shower that shit off, no pun intended.
Butt (lol), being the friend that I am, I have ordered their household a very nice bidet and had it shipped directly to them as a way to say thank you for reminding me to read the fricking label before I wipe my ass anywhere but home. By the way Colorox, why are those damn things packaged just like ass wipes?
Pease out fellow ass wipers and beware when popping a solid away from home.
Signed Slightly – feel free to hit me up with questions or ideas at firstname.lastname@example.org