Snappy Comebacks and Perfect Responses

I won’t lie, Slightly has a bit of a reputation of always having a smart ass come back or the perfect response to stupid remarks. A reader a while back gave me the phrase “that sounds like a you problem” and I not only love it but try to use it daily. Today though, I think I outdid even myself. What worries me many times, I never even have to think about these things. I just open my mouth and there there are in all their brilliance.

I preface this with Slightly, NEVER runs stop signs. It is honestly one of the dumbest things I’ve seen people do. That being said, there is an intersection near my house that has a huge tree blocking your view if you’re heading south. I always pull up far enough to see past the tree so I am not worried about hitting someone heading east. This morning I pulled up, stopped and waiting for a motorcycle flying eastbound. Instead of passing me, he stopped directly in front of my car screaming about the “fucking white line”. We aren’t talking in passing, this was a full 2 minute tirade about being over the white line and contained some rather colorful language.

Since Slightly was already having an interesting morning, I sat there with my window down and let him wail on till he felt better. He obviously needed to get some rage out of his day. Once he was finished I politely said thanks and have a good day. This is quite uncommon for me but like I said the morning already had enough drama. However once I said have a good day, it set this loon off again and says WTF, that’s all you have to say.

So, I added, “well I was going to say screw your mom and whatever circus clown she was banging when you were conceived but I was tying to be nice”. I think that pushed him over the edge because as I drove away all I heard were yells of F you, F this, etc. The moral of this story, it doesn’t pay to be polite but I tried.

Peace out fellow drivers and no rolling stops, Slightly hates those.

Signed Slightly – signedslightly@gmail.com