Well since I have gone current affairs instead of demented things I hear, I decided to do some research into the weird regulations and bans that have been put in place due to Covid. Once you read most you might think I’m gone back to humor but seriously, I verified all these. So here goes some of the best.
Spain has banned smoking in public places due to Covid. I hadn’t heard they now linked Covid to cigarettes. Why am I the last to know?
How many things during Covid have you worried about if you need to fly? Is the plane clean? How many people are squeezed in there? The air is recycled, etc. Well in Brazil it seems the President has bigger concerns. Pillows are now banned on all airline flights in Brazil. What the heck does he have against poor innocent pillows?
New Zeland lets you travel and come home but it will cost you. Upon returning home you must quarantine in a government monitored facility or hotel. I hope it’s a nice one because it runs $3,100 for the first adult, $950 for your spouse and $475 for each child. Hey, at least they feed you.
South Africa lifted their ban on alcohol which is good because they banned selling any shoes without closed toes and any short sleeve shirts unless worn with a jacket over them. You’re going to need a drink just to make sense of that one. It’s freaking hot in Africa.
Now here are my 3 favorites. First up is Russia. Here’s a country with roughly 42 million people and less than 3,000 cases of Covid 19. Yes you read that right. I assume Covid doesn’t like freezing weather and food shortage but the government says it’s because everyone is getting vaccinated and cannot leave home without a mask and gloves. Hmm I thought they determined Covid was airborne not on surfaces but hey, Russia knows best.
2nd Place goes to Illinois and Michigan. They banned dancing. I can’t say I found a viable reason for that but then nothing those whack job governors in Michigan and Ohio do seems to have even a logical reason.
And first place for the dumbest possible Covid suggestions is . . . . . drum roll . . . . New York. I bet that didn’t surprise a damn one of you. They have taken mask wearing to a whole new level. The health department there is encouraging use of them even during sex. They included this in their guidelines “. “Be creative with sexual positions and physical barriers, like walls, that allow sexual contact while preventing close face-to-face contact.” You can’t make that shit up.
To make matters more interesting, I guess Canada didn’t wanna be left out of weird so they were even more explicit. Their public service guidelines read “Use barriers, like walls (eg glory holes), that allow for sexual contact but prevent close face-to-face contact.” I kid you not.
By the way I know you’re thinking Slightly has gone mad and you’re gonna jump on google and check it out but please, don’t google “glory hole”. Some things you can’t un-see and likely don’t want to know about. It’s a hole in the wall of usually a public place so just use your imagination.
Peace out fellow fed up Americans. Signed Slightly (firstname.lastname@example.org)