This World Has Gone Completely to Shit

Let me preface this with I don’t care who, what or where you stick your dick or who or what licks your crotch, but telling me I have to accept it as natural behavior is never gonna happen. You were born with a penis or a vagina, period (no pun intended, I think).

If you have a penis and wanna hump men or have a vagina and wanna smack uglies with women, have at it. I am not homophobic or whatever the new term is, but will you convenience me it’s natural? Nope, no use trying. You want to claim you were born loving the same sex and maybe so. It’s not my place to judge you or decide if it’s morally correct or not. Hash that out with God when you get there. If you’re one of those people that are never gonna be on that side come judgement day anyway, then I guess it won’t matter either way.

Here is where I think it’s all nuts. If I accept your theory that you were born attracted to the same sex, it all falls apart. Cause now you’ll need to explain to me how it went so shitty after that. We have so many new terms but my favorite is non-binary. These people can “identify” as male, female, fluid (whatever that means) or neither. How the hell do you decide you are neither male or female? The newest thing now is signing your gender pronoun on your signature (he/him) so people know to address you as a man. Here’s the clicker, it still doesn’t tell you shit as I could be a women that prefers to be a man.

You can prefer to be whatever you want, but you are what the good Lord made you, nothing else. If you have a trouser snake and some swamp nuts and wanna wear a dress, a thong, and lipstick do it. Grab that sexy sequined cocktail dress, slap on that lipstick, paint your nails and show people how fabulous you are. If you have a beaver, a snapper, a punani or whatever word you like and want to wear pants, a hat, some Old Spice cologne, then why not. Make yourself look how you want. How you feel comfortable. Cause as much as you’ll hate to hear this, NO ONE GIVES A RAT’S ASS. NO ONE CARES HOW YOU LOOK. People are laughing because of how you act and the stupid shit you say, not how you dress.

But enough of the gender fluid, the gender non-binary, the questioning. You don’t want equality, you want special rights. You want to demand people look at you and say hey that’s natural but it’s not. But what it is, is how you choose to live. I am not a gay basher, I have gay and straight friends. In fact I have a friend I’ve known since high school and never knew she was gay. She isn’t in my face screaming I’m queer and you have to tell me it’s normal. She lives her life how she wants. Heck I even have a friend that was a man and is now a post surgery woman. He isn’t demanding anyone like it, he’s just living how he wants. You want to be treated as equal, then act equal. I am a lot older than most of you will ever guess and I have never felt the need to discuss my sexual preference with friends. I don’t have any that have demanded to know what sex I am or what sex I like to boink.

That my dear gay, bi-sexual, fluid, non-bianary people, it where you encounter so much backlash. You want to demand people look at you and say hey that’s natural but sorry it’s not and you can’t demand I accept it as so. Stop caring what I or anyone thinks. Live how you want.

You only go around once and if you do it right it’s, enough. Homosexual behavior and cross dressing has been around far longer than anyone reading this. You haven’t invented anything new you just wanna yell more about it. In fact, if you stopped talking about your sexual preference all the time it would likely never come up as an issue. Worried someone won’t hire you cause you’re gay well don’t discuss your sex life at work. Worried someone won’t rent you an apartment cause you’re non-binary, well again don’t discuss your sex life with strangers. In all my years not one employer, landlord, mortgage company, bank, etc. has ever asked “so Slightly, exactly what sex do you prefer to hump” or “hey Slightly, what gender are you”. And not once have I ever walked it and shouted it out and demanded they acknowledge it as normal. When I was young people didn’t walk around discussing their personal lives in public and that’s how it should be. It’s your business, don’t make it mine.

Damn, while writing this I realize I have thought up an entirely new gender. Do you know you could be a gay lesbian man? Think it through. If you were born a man but identify as a female and you’re bi-sexual so you date both men and women you can now sign your name as John Doe, Gay Lesbian Man. You’re welcome.

Peace out fellow gender specific Americans. And bring on the hate mail if you like.

Signed Slightly (him/her/canine/feline) – Signedslightly@gmail.com