You know, we all have weird habits we adhere to even though we know they are unusual. We all likely have some habits that we don’t discuss in public. Social media has changed all that. People feel the need to talk about anything. That’s how I wandered onto the subject of butt hole bleaching. If you’re my age, you probably read that thinking it’s a typo but no, it’s a real thing. Bleaching your butt hole so it looks whiter. I honestly think this has to have started with the porn industry. We all know you you see a butt hole at least every 2 minutes in a porn film but do you really notice what color it is? If you did, does it really matter?
When I was a 20 something there was no internet so this may have been going on and we just never knew about it. With twitter, reddit (internet site for asking questions) and other social media, it’s now a public topic. What I have to wonder is does it really matter what color your ass hole is? Even if you’re into anal sex, is your partner having a close up inspection in advance and going oh, sorry can’t plunder there as the skin is just too dark for me? Instead of risking someone commenting over your butt hole color you can now wax then apply bleach to your actual hole. Call me old school but hmmmm, hell no. I personally have no idea what color my butthole is and my spouse has never commented on it but if they ever do, I think we have larger issues to discuss.
If you think this is weird, wait till you see the other ideas I ran across researching this. Assholes aren’t enough. Men are bleaching their scrotums. Yes their nut sacs. Women are bleaching their lips and nipples. And by lips I mean the ones below the waistline. If you’re not into home waxing or bleaching, you can get the latest spa treatment called a Vajacial. I bet you read it here first. The spa with gladly prop up your honey pot then clean it, wax it, reclean with an antibacterial solution then apply a mask and bleach your bum hole to make you all fresh and tidy. If you’re a waxer of the nether regions you can even get Vazazzles. What is that you ask? Well silly, it’s jewels women can glue on their freshly waxed biscuit. I think strippers need these.
If this isn’t enough to have you wondering what the hell is wrong with people, then you need to know about anal douching. I personally think this is likely very similar to butt chugging (see previously article). The thought process (so I’ve read) is to make you all clean and shiny for your next joystick meets cornhole adventure. You can even have a CDB anal douche which includes a suppository of CDB oil which works over a period of hours to release cannibas into your bunghole and relax it to make bum fun nicer for everyone involved.
I never thought of Slightly as a prude by any means. My life has ranged from normal to slightly weird to the downright bizarre but I have no desire to bleach balls, vaginas, nipples or my chocolate starfish but then again I’m not into anal douching either unless it’s with bourbon. That I might consider, but I’m undecided so far.
Let’s be honest. 90% of all this is a marketing campaign. They invented products that sell like crazy and the are designed to resolve problems you didn’t even know you had. I asked a couple of medical professionals and bottom line, good daily hygiene is all you need. Ladies your penis fly trap is self cleaning so a daily shower is all it takes. Stop shoving chemicals up there to solve a problem you don’t have. Have a smell you don’t like, I have heard Lume is amazing for that. Men your bratwurst and beans are the same. A daily shower is adequate. Here’s a hint I have heard though. If your willy is not the size you might want, try a little manscaping. Apparently trimming the weeds makes the tree look larger.
Peace out my semi-normal readers. Signed Slightly (firstname.lastname@example.org)