Now You’re Just Making Shit Up

Unfortunately, Slightly isn’t a stranger to being pulled over by the police for traffic issues. I am not one of those that screams, gets mad, shouts racism, etc. I have the utmost respect for law enforcement officers (LEO). They do a job for very poor pay that no one else wants. Trust me, short of Jesus Christ, there is no one else gonna jump in to stop someone with a gun that’s looking for you, not him.

That being said, sometimes Slightly has to laugh at the things I hear people are stopped for. I’ve had my share of encounters but it’s just your run of the mill and assorted other boring things better left untalked about. Until today. Today it all changed.

Today as I sat at a red light I didn’t fail to notice the officer behind me but like most, I don’t panic as Slightly is a law abiding citizen. So, imagine my surprise when seconds after I started going his lights came on. I assumed he needed to get past me so I pulled over as close as I could to the curb. He did the same so I assumed he wanted to have a conversation. As he came to the window he asked “do you know why I pulled you over”. Now Slightly doesn’t offer unnecessary information so avoiding the urge to say too much free time, I said no.

He looks at me and I kid you not, he says “you left that light too aggressively”. It’s rare I am at a loss for smart ass response (hence this blog) but I had nothing. I sat there with a blank look on my face. I finally said “are you serious, did I squeel my tires, swerve, or what because I didn’t hear any tires and I couldn’t be speeding because the speed limit is 60 and I literally went half a block before your lights came on”.

He went on to explain that the cars behind me hadn’t even left the intersection and I was a block away. I explained I couldn’t be responsible for poor driving on their part. And here is the part I love. He explained that he was “gonna be a good guy and just give me a verbal warning”. I couldn’t help myself. I immediately opened my mouth and said “are you just screwing with me?” He said he was not and that I should make an effort to drive more cautiously in the future.

Come on LEO’s. I know you hesitated to write a lot of tickets last year for fear of approaching cars of people with Covid, but now you are just making shit up. What the hell is leaving a light too aggressively? Is that a check mark on the ticket or do you have to fill in the blank? Again with my upmost respect, if you need the revenue or to fill a quota, at least come up with something that doesn’t sound like pure bullshit. In the end at least I just got a warning. Good thing, cause I’m not sure how I’d dispute that one in court.

Peace out fellow drivers and LEO’s be safe and know you’re appreciated. Signed Slightly (signedslightly@gmail.com)